Focus.


We live in northern Minnesota. Winters are hard. I get it. I've lived here for almost 12 years now and I've adapted. But last week was a polar vortex for the record books and it was rough.  It was -40 degrees here: that was the air temperature, folks. We were off school for three days (that never happens in Minnesota). We went nowhere because the weather people told us we could get frostbite in three minutes and my 3-year-old won't wear mittens.

The week before that was subzero, with highs reaching a balmy zero degrees. Normal enough for business as usual for Minnesota. As was this morning when I had to drive across town in a blizzard.

This winter has been RELENTLESS. I wish it would release its icy fingers on our state that seems to be squeezing the life out of me.

But last month I went to a speaker who came to our church. Kai Mark Nilsen is the author of Renew Your Life: Discovering the Wellspring of God's Energy (and our pastor's brother). We're reading his book for a small group study and I am enjoying his biblical based solutions for our modern day life problems.

But the one thing he said that really stuck with me during his talk was this:

Celebrate what is right in the world. 

Wow. So instead of pointing my lens at all the junk, all the problems, I point it at what is right? What is good?

So I tried. Last week I focused on our house that held up in -50 degree windchills and a furnace that remained stalwart despite constant pressure to perform.

I focused on the time spent with my kids. One of whom is in kindergarten and my time with her has seemed so condensed that it was nice to have three whole days unravel before us, slowly re-revealing her beautiful personality.

And then I read this post from the Modern Mrs. Darcy. In it, she talks about how winters are hard for her (YES!) and what helps is focusing on what is saving her life rather than what is life draining (i.e. sickness, cold, snow, ice, clouds).

So instead of focusing on what is hard in my life, I am trying to release that lens and focus on what is right.

In other words, here's what is saving my life right now:

1. Things.

Sure, money can't buy happiness but it can buy warmth. And in my book, that is happiness. My Eddie Bauer down coat, my sherpa-lined cardigan, and the Costco Women's Trail Socks are making winter more bearable in the frozen tundra.  Seriously, I am super picky about socks. I'd rather be barefoot any day of the week. In the winter this is not possible. I begrudgingly put on socks and then rip them off at the end of the day with my bra. These Costco socks...yes, Costco...are warm without bulk. They don't slide. My feet are happy. I'm happy.

And now that I've waxed poetic about socks and lost your attention...

2. Gmail

I realize I've had Gmail for a while and I've been aware of this for equally as long, but lately, I've been grateful for the Promotions tab. Sure, emails sometimes get sent there that shouldn't. Also, I do not get inundated with emails all day long like some high power execs. However, I enjoy the fact that I don't have to look at sales pitches and "one day only sale" emails unless I chose to. Instead, I click one button and they all disappear.

Easiest. Decluttering. Ever.

Take that Marie Kondo...

3. Home workouts. 

I know gym memberships work for some people. And for others who don't live in Minnesota, you might think "just go outside for a walk and you'll feel better." Well, that doesn't work in Minnesota when temperatures never peak above zero.

And I've never liked going to the gym and like spending money to go there even less. So about ten years ago, we purchased a treadmill. I love that treadmill.

Some mornings, I wake up and get in a good sweat before the day begins. Other days, I simply go for a leisurely stroll while listening to a podcast. I know it can never replace the healing nature of fresh air, but it is close. I stare out the window and pretend I'm outside.

Physically, my body is so much happier. Like the kids, I have found I surprisingly have energy to burn after being in the house for three straight days. The treadmill keeps my body moving which makes it happy which in turn makes me mentally happy.

Win. Win. Win.

4. Going out. 

After the holidays, I tend to want to retreat from the world. December is just a little too much "extroverting" for me and January tends to be the perfect anecdote.

But this year, I've found with a school-aged child and more social commitments, I wasn't able to be a hermit as much as I would have liked.

And you know what? It was great. Most of the commitments were ones that had been tossed aside with the busyness of the holidays and it felt great to reconnect with people. I may have sometimes begrudged reading for a book club or church group, or planning for a Sunday School lesson, but amazingly, I felt refreshed after each outing.

I've also found it doesn't have to be much. It could be a quick playdate, chatting with the cashier at the grocery store, or even walking into school to drop my daughter off.  All offer an opportunity to be with other people.

I think this is what they call "connection" and I'm finally beginning to understand why it's so important.

For which I will thank you, Polar Vortex.

5. Trips

I don't say "vacation" because that implies relaxation and our upcoming trips are with kids. Still, I am counting down the days until our family embarks to Texas and then Florida. I realize these trips come from a place of extreme privilege, especially since we have family in both locations and do not have to pay for lodging.

But knowing that I will have a week's respite from the cold and snow is a mental gift right now. I can handle driving in the snow knowing that in just a short time, I will be able to go outside with a normal amount of clothes on. Maybe my skin might even absorb some of the sun's rays. My kids can play outside and burn off energy. And my husband will be with us to share in some of the parenting duties.

I. Am. So. Ready.

So there you have it. I may not be releasing something this week, but by shifting my focus I do hope to release some of the negative energy that can feel stifling this time of year.



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